Kenny Michaels
It has been a long and often difficult road for Kenny Michaels, comedian and leader of the Juvenile Frequency project. Born in the early 30s (1930s? 1830s?) in the Hell’s Kitchen area of New York, Kenneth Donovan Adolph Berkowitz Michowsky was the middle child in a family of fourteen Black Russian Immigrants from a region of what would one day be known as the former Checkimafuckedia. Working as a brick layer in his youth, at the age of 3 Kenny got his start in Vaudeville, where he was paid a handsome wage to mop up after all the clowns (he was paid in all the whipped cream he could eat). The comedy bug bit Kenny hard (better known as cholera at the time) and Kenny would move into show business full time.
After serving in the military (no one knows whose) and performing with a circus (know one cares how), Kenny starred in several silent films that quickly earned him the title of “America’s Sweetheart: Little Kenny Michaels!” Despite this raging success, these early films were made during the studio era of Hollywood, and Kenny Michaels was still under contractual obligation to manage the production company’s commissary as well as occasionally serve as line cook. Viva Showbiz!
Fame and fortune followed Kenny as he skyrocketed in fame, were the young comedian was sent on USO tours to the enemy as an ambassador for America. Indeed, after experiencing Kenny’s routine, several nations surrendered unconditionally. Hero to millions, trend-setter and spiritual-guru, bon-vivant and social-butterfly — “America’s Sweetheart” had it all! Unfortunately, with the onset of “talkies” Kenny’s career faced its worst obstacle yet. Up until that point no one had actually been able to hear the crazy shit this motherfucker had to say. Now… American’s Sweetheart quickly was revealed to be America’s Retart. Sadly, this new moniker was not nearly as impressive on a marquee. Not even in New Jersey.
After a stint in jail and a few years as a drug mule, Kenny Michaels returned as the host of the inexplicably popular “Conte and Kenny Show”, where the young comedian bucked the advice of longtime friend W.C. Fields and worked with a child-like animal, “JoeCo, the Differently-Abled Ape”. Tragically, after nearly half a decade, JoeCo finally got his own picture deal and left Kenny Michaels and the rest of the show behind (But they’re still pals).
Even more tragically, Kenny Michaels chose not to quit the business, and instead decided to return with a new crew of mangled circus folk for his latest venture: Juvenile Frequency. Only the gods themselves know what lay in the future for the erstwhile beloved star of stage, screen, and local mensrooms – but here’s hoping for the best!
Grand Poobah